For most new mums the birth of their baby is a happy time. For others, bad birth experience leads to post traumatic stress disorder. Isn’t that what combat soldiers get? Long associated with shell-shocked war vets it turns out everyone is at risk in certain situations. Any traumatic, or perceived trauma, can bring it on.
What is it?
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a memory-encoding error. It’s caused by experiencing a traumatic or threatening event. A major feature is an overwhelming sense of fear, horror and helplessness evoked by the event. Then there’s the misery of intrusive flashbacks, anxiety, isolation and nightmares.
Giving birth the most natural thing in the world and is supposed to be the happiest time for new parents.
How birth turns into a nightmare
Birth trauma results from an array of possibilities on the birthing spectrum. While a normal delivery is not guaranteed, how well it’s handled by the obstetric team is crucial in preventing PTSD. Crash sections (the clue is in the name!) forceps, ventouse deliveries, episiotomy, prolonged pain, hemorrhage, and baby health emergencies may lead to PTSD – although most are well-handled and cause few problems.
Normal new-mum euphoria doesn’t get a chance to kick in. Recovery is slow, episiotomy and c-section wounds are slow to heal, breast feeding is affected and libido vanishes. How midwives, doctors and partners talk and behave has a huge impact on how a woman feels and processes the event.
My first birth
During a planned home birth with my first baby girl, I was rushed to hospital when my cervix didn’t dilate the last 1 cm – after 16 hours of established labour. My midwife phoned a friend to find out what to do! Hospital staff were hostile and dismissive of home birth. Fear gripped me as my baby’s heart rate dipped dangerously low. Following a large episiotomy and the birth of my baby, I haemorrhaged and blacked out. I truly felt I was dying. My little girl was removed. I spent 2 hours alone, covered in blood, gasping with thirst following the blood loss ( my haemoglobin was 8.5 next day).
A midwife promised, and forgot, to bring me a ‘Craft’ of water. I fantasized about drinking a whole boatload but was too weak to search for a bell to ring. My husband went home to shower and sleep!
Third world scenario? No, this happened in a Dublin Hospital, 24 years ago. I was a UK-qualified midwife. I felt my baby and I were betrayed by community and hospital care. Mastitis and a wound infection added to misery of those early days as my weight plummeted to 7 stone. It took me six long weeks to fall in love with my darling girl. Time I felt had been stolen from us. Meanwhile, family members happily delivered their babies happy and freeable to sit comfortably on intact perineums – boasting about getting house-keeping done as usual! Flashbacks and feelings of anger faded slowly – it took me nearly 7 years to have another child.
*****
Many women suffer the misery of PTSD following the birth of their baby. It doesn’t have to be a violent, emergency situation for PTSD to kick in. Feeling alone, terrified, in endless pain, harsh words and bad attitudes play their part. Your mind doesn’t differentiate between urgent danger and a real threat to life … it’s enough to feel in danger and out of control.
*****
A client of mine got her birth notes from her hospital delivery two years ago. ‘I’d done my classes, listened to the cds. I was strong, fit and ready with my birth plan. My group classes promised me a normal birth if I just believed in it! No one explained things could go wrong. A long painful labour followed my induction. Midwives didn’t believe me or care. I screamed with pain. I’m into martial arts so I’m not a stranger to injury. I ended up with forceps 27 hours later. Exhausted, battered and with a huge episiotomy I felt I’d been in a road traffic accident. I was FURIOUS with the obstetrician and midwives. My husband didn’t understand. I found it hard to bond with my baby. I was jealous of other mums chatting about their births and couldn’t join in. I felt I’d failed. It was two years before I got EMDR, the only thing that worked to release the fear and trauma. Will I have another child? I’m not sure I could go through that again. It nearly wrecked my marriage.’
*****
Often misdiagnosed as post natal depression PTSD produces flashbacks, anxiety and nightmares can haunt women for years.
Eye movement therapy – – EMDR diffuses traumatic, intrusive memories and fearful feelings.
I love helping women recover from traumatic birth. 3-5 sessions are often all it takes to lose the fear and feel normal.
Moms share their experiences of traumatic birth in photos … breaking the silence.
