My girlfriend guide to starting IVF is based on what clients wish they’d known before they began their fertility treatment. So now you can know what really makes a difference.
Prepping for your IVF makes the whole process easier to navigate and saves on stress.. Follow my tried and trusted guidelines to help increase your odds of pregnancy. Studies (and many happy parents!) show you can double your chances of success with mind/body programs like my stress-busting IVF prep sessions.
1. Be your own project manager. Keep full and clear records of visits, calls, investigations, outcomes, treatments, med schedules and follow ups. This is an important reference to track your progress, make useful changes or to brief a new clinic on your history.
2. Plan your IVF Prep sessions 6-8 weeks before you start treatment. Research shows women who do a mind/body prep double their rate of pregnancy from 20% to 52%. (Domar, Skilman). Sessions with me are designed to support and guide you, to reduce anxiety, boost well being and ensure your womb is receptive. My support, advice and care continue for egg harvest, embryo transfer, during the 2-week-wait and beyond.
3. Decide who’s in. Who needs to know you are having IVF? Boss, colleagues, your mum, his mum, sisters, girlfriends? It’s a job in itself updating a supportive circle so choose the most helpful people around you. Â Everyone will want updates so choose one town crier. Avoid social media if you don’t fancy a circus. What about the 2-week wait? What if treatment fails? What do you want from your supporters? Does your employer have a fertility policy? Do you feel comfortable engaging with HR or your line manager to get the support and flexibility you need? Without having to invent yet another dental appointment, or jeopardise your job.
4. Have a meds list and schedule. Get familiar with your meds and side effects. Clearly chart which meds you need to take – and when they are due. Stick to the timings, and set reminders on your phone. Keep enough in stock!
5. Plan to live a little. Remember that you’ve got this far and you’re in shape for a pregnancy. Enjoy stuff you won’t get a chance to do once you your baby arrives. Share leisurely breakfasts in bed with the newspapers, an impromptu movie, baths, a bit of pampering.
6. Don’t take on more. Focus on being ‘in treatment’ and doing the minimum. This is not the time to prove yourself at work or move house! IVF is exhausting and meds play havoc with moods. Be as gentle on yourself … as you would be with a friend. Socialising with friends breaks the spell but cherry-pick your outings to limit distress. Christenings and communion-type events may put you on the spot with well-meaning relatives. Do you need this right now?
7. Organise food. You may not feel up to shopping or cooking. Some women find IVF exhausting. Did anyone mention constipation? It happens with the meds. Pears and prunes are your friend. Â Have a freezer load of healthy meals. Set up online grocery delivery. Ask family and friends for their signature dish. Added bonus? Repeat culinary performances when the baby drives! Ignore this if your OH is a culinary wizard.
8. Build your support network. You’ll need it as a new mother. See above. People love to help if they know what you want.Would you like company on clinic visits when dh can’t make it? Long phone chats? Remember your OH is a major support lifeline who is new to IVF as well. It often leaves them feeling helpless or sidelined. Mind-reading may not be on their skill set. Make your needs known in your own sweet way.
9. Watch your weight. Ben & Jerry’s is not your friend. You can rack up over a stone on IVF, so no junk lovelies until you get a bfp! Piling on pounds is easy, the meds see to that, so be warned. Shedding this resistant kind of weight after a failed cycle adds to the misery of a failed cycle. I’m all for body positivity and body neutrality, for you to be your comfortable healthy self.
10. Caffeine withdrawal. Diehard caffeine freaks tells me that giving up coffee while you are trying to conceive is better done well in advance of starting treatment. Why? In the unlikely event that a wee touch of grumpiness might disturb your usual serenity, add to the hormone-emotion overload.
11. Dress for the occasion. The reality of bloating and weight gain – and the stripping for scans – brings a whole new appreciation for the whole floaty, loose garment ethos of M&S. Consider a brief love affair with the bigger knicker, and elasticated waistbands.
What worked for you? Share your version of the girlfriend guide to starting IVF!
